Letting Go of Perfect

Be Kind.  Listen.  Follow Directions. My son, Jack (now 4) has been hearing me recite these three expectations since  he was 2.  "Jack, remember Mommy expects you to be kind, listen, and follow directions" I would say to him when I dropped him off at daycare, headed to a friend's house, or embarked on an outing.  I could clearly see in my mind, a "pre-teen Jack" sitting in the back seat of the car as I drop him off for his first middle school dance, rolling his eyes, and grunting the words, "I know Mom; be kind, listen, and follow directions". I should consider myself so lucky if I truly believe he'd even mumble the word kind at that point in his life. However, at Jack's age of 2, I decided to put to work a little "magic" I had learned in my training as educator/ counselor.  I thought at the time, "I can handle the "terrible twos", it's all about positive discipline".  That easy, right? So I went forth with...

April 2011.  Sitting at my computer on a weeknight.  Jack sound asleep in bed.  No sounds in the house.  No television. No music. No voices.  Just me.  Just quiet.  Just stillness. I let out a sigh.  This was calm.  This was a calm I hadn't felt in weeks, months, possibly years.  The chaos had reached its finale and for four months I had been discovering the challenges and perks to single motherhood.  It was this moment that I recognized we (Jack and I) would be okay.  We could do this.  It wouldn't be easy, but we'd make it and frankly I had learned by then it takes commitment and determination to make anything happen.  I've never been one to take the easy road. This calm , this stillness, this balance was something I wanted to hold onto because it felt good, it felt right.  And so it was on this Spring evening in 2011 that I found my therapist, my life coach who was going to help me be live a h...