Taking some "me" time...should I feel guilty?
After 9 months of pregnancy, hours of labor, and painful delivery, we feel "blessed" to hold these little beings in our arms. We think at the end of the pain, discomfort, and extreme endurance, we get this bundle of joy. But the guilt? Did that have to come in the bundle too?
Come on Moms...single or not, you got it, right? The guilt. It came with your bundle as well? This "mother's guilt", where does it stem from? Tonight, I get a text from a friend asking if I am bringing Jack to march in the parade tomorrow morning. I cringe...now I have to fess up. Jack is at his Dad's for the night. And me? Well, I had already planned out a morning for ME. Sleep in. Go running. Enjoy a peaceful breakfast. Maybe read a book. Maybe write on this blog (LOL). Maybe do the school work I brought home this weekend (not likely). What I hadn't planned on was picking Jack up from his Dad's at 7am, forcing him into his Tee Ball uniform, and getting to the parade starting point somewhere in Gardner, I don't even know where by 815am for an 830am parade during which he'll likely decide he is tired and I will be carrying a boy whose length is at least half my height if not more through the streets of Gardner breaking out in a sweat myself.
After hemming and hawing all through this day about the parade, I made the decision on our ride back from N.H. that we'd skip the parade. It was a last minute notice event and we'd already arranged our schedules so Jack was with his Dad this evening into tomorrow. He wouldn't miss the parade....OR would he? Nah.
Then tonight, the text comes, a simple, unattached question. "Are you bringing Jack to the parade?" Am I bringing Jack to the parade??? NO! And so it begins, the dialogue in my head. Should I be bringing Jack to the parade? Am I depriving him of this grand experience of marching through Gardner? Will he resent that I didn't bring him to the parade? How can I be so selfish to prefer a morning to myself over bringing my son, my only son to his first parade as a participant, a Tee Ball Player? You know the game, right? Tee Ball? Two Saturdays of Tee Ball games, two Saturdays of Jack being done an inning early, ready to leave. Two Saturdays of Jack asking me on the way home from Tee Ball, "Mama, when does soccer start?"
Of course, my decision to skip the parade and have a morning to myself is a reasonable decision. At least that is what I would tell my mommy friends and then I would encourage them to enjoy the time for as long as possible, to soak in the peacefulness of time spent solo, to do something fun, to do absolutely nothing, to do whatever their heart desired. So why can't I give myself the same advice? So why in my text back to my friend, after responding with 'going to take some me time', did I also add in, "do you think this is selfish?" Why do I question this? It's because of the bonus that comes along with our bundle, the "guilt".
I truly believe that as mothers, we make better moms and partners by taking "me" time. It cleanses our souls, renews our strength, and gives us peace of mind. It's to be embraced. But, of course, the "perfect" mom would make the parade work tomorrow for her unenthused Tee Ball player...or would she???
Come on Moms...single or not, you got it, right? The guilt. It came with your bundle as well? This "mother's guilt", where does it stem from? Tonight, I get a text from a friend asking if I am bringing Jack to march in the parade tomorrow morning. I cringe...now I have to fess up. Jack is at his Dad's for the night. And me? Well, I had already planned out a morning for ME. Sleep in. Go running. Enjoy a peaceful breakfast. Maybe read a book. Maybe write on this blog (LOL). Maybe do the school work I brought home this weekend (not likely). What I hadn't planned on was picking Jack up from his Dad's at 7am, forcing him into his Tee Ball uniform, and getting to the parade starting point somewhere in Gardner, I don't even know where by 815am for an 830am parade during which he'll likely decide he is tired and I will be carrying a boy whose length is at least half my height if not more through the streets of Gardner breaking out in a sweat myself.
After hemming and hawing all through this day about the parade, I made the decision on our ride back from N.H. that we'd skip the parade. It was a last minute notice event and we'd already arranged our schedules so Jack was with his Dad this evening into tomorrow. He wouldn't miss the parade....OR would he? Nah.
Then tonight, the text comes, a simple, unattached question. "Are you bringing Jack to the parade?" Am I bringing Jack to the parade??? NO! And so it begins, the dialogue in my head. Should I be bringing Jack to the parade? Am I depriving him of this grand experience of marching through Gardner? Will he resent that I didn't bring him to the parade? How can I be so selfish to prefer a morning to myself over bringing my son, my only son to his first parade as a participant, a Tee Ball Player? You know the game, right? Tee Ball? Two Saturdays of Tee Ball games, two Saturdays of Jack being done an inning early, ready to leave. Two Saturdays of Jack asking me on the way home from Tee Ball, "Mama, when does soccer start?"
Of course, my decision to skip the parade and have a morning to myself is a reasonable decision. At least that is what I would tell my mommy friends and then I would encourage them to enjoy the time for as long as possible, to soak in the peacefulness of time spent solo, to do something fun, to do absolutely nothing, to do whatever their heart desired. So why can't I give myself the same advice? So why in my text back to my friend, after responding with 'going to take some me time', did I also add in, "do you think this is selfish?" Why do I question this? It's because of the bonus that comes along with our bundle, the "guilt".
I truly believe that as mothers, we make better moms and partners by taking "me" time. It cleanses our souls, renews our strength, and gives us peace of mind. It's to be embraced. But, of course, the "perfect" mom would make the parade work tomorrow for her unenthused Tee Ball player...or would she???
Oh boy can I relate! After 1 week of T-ball Royal was asking me about soccer too! I also spend a lot of time worrying if every decision I make is the right one when it comes to parenting. Me time is very important, even if that means you don't take Jack to every event that comes up. He will remember the individual events much less than the time he spent with his mom in which she was feeling better about everything in general because she gave herself a much needed break. Love Alicia
ReplyDeleteI believe I was asleep in NJ during this parade. Are you sick of my comments yet??
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