Letting Go of Perfect

Weekdays are clock work for me.  Alarm goes off at 4:00 AM.  Early?  Well, yes, but 4:00 is to factor in the 2-3 snoozes that come before 4:30 when I actually need to get out of bed to fit in a 30 minute workout before getting Jack and I out the door at precisely 6:33AM.  It's become routine. It's become habit.  As heavy as my eyelids are each morning when I will myself out of bed, the better I still feel to get my body moving in the morning be it on the elliptical or a crazy Jillian Michaels Exercise DVD filled with enough planks that you think you're ribs may fall out of your body. However, today I decided to step out of my box.  Today, when my alarm went off at 4:00 AM and the two ceremonial snoozes had been pressed, I decided, "hey, why not stay in bed?".  I could sneak in a whole 45 minutes of extra sleep.  The sky was still dark.  I could hear the rain outside.  What better morning to take the perfect snooze.   Of course, I debated for about 5 minutes.  Ge

One thing I love about my where I live are the welcoming, quaint neighborhood streets perfect (well perfect minus a few potholes here and there) for that stroll after dinner to digest your food and clear your mind before turning in. From the beginning, one of my favorite "mom" activities was taking Jack for walks, especially at the end of the day as we were winding down for bedtime.  He would be all snuggled up with his favorite blanket and stuffed Ducky in his car seat that latched right into his stroller, other wise known as the "full travel system".  He would stare up at me going in and out of sleep while I would walk and walk, sometimes for an hour or so.  It was a peaceful time for me, my meditation.  My reward at the end of a long day. A year passed and he was no longer laying in his stroller gazing up at me.  Now he got to turn his body around facing forward in an upright stroller taking in all of the scenery.  It was still peaceful.  He would still go in

Are we destined to meet our one true love?  Does fate really get the credit for creating our life partnership?  Is there one person out there for each of us? Twenty years ago, my answer would have been yes, yes, and absolutely!  Well, now I am not so sure.  Can a lifetime partnership be as easy as "it was meant to be", "it was love at first sight"?  Not only do I question this on my experience with love and marriage, but also based on the marriages of friends.  I have friends whose marriages I admire that are strong and solid.  However, I know that these relationships have not always been easy.  My friends work hard at their marriages from what I can see and it is well worth it.  What my friends have is commitment with a partner who shares similar interests and life values.  A commitment that requires work and constant attention.  My friends should feel proud of what they have accomplished as couples, not discouraged by the work relationships can take sometimes.

After 9 months of pregnancy, hours of labor, and painful delivery, we feel "blessed" to hold these little beings in our arms. We think at the end of the pain, discomfort, and extreme endurance, we get this bundle of joy.  But the guilt?  Did that have to come in the bundle too? Come on Moms...single or not, you got it, right?  The guilt. It came with your bundle as well?  This "mother's guilt", where does it stem from?  Tonight, I get a text from a friend asking if I am bringing Jack to march in the parade tomorrow morning.  I cringe...now I have to fess up.  Jack is at his Dad's for the night. And me?  Well, I had already planned out a morning for ME.  Sleep in.  Go running.  Enjoy a peaceful breakfast.  Maybe read a book.  Maybe write on this blog (LOL).  Maybe do the school work I brought home this weekend (not likely).  What I hadn't planned on was picking Jack up from his Dad's at 7am, forcing him into his Tee Ball uniform, and getting to the

Why did I want to start this blog??  To share with others how to embrace your imperfections.  This coming from a girl with a "perfectionism" issue that has weaved its way into her life in positive and negative ways.  An issue that has caused pain and distress as well as success.  An issue she has contended with and has found peace through embracing the imperfect parts. So..tonight's example.  I was so excited to start this blog after 4 hours of driving and thinking today. I was ready to share so much "stuff".  I started with this piece on my grandmothers and how grateful I am for the lessons they taught me and guess what??  I posted it somewhere else in cyberspace that is NOT the webpage of this blog.  And so it begins, let's embrace imperfect.  Let's laugh with it.  Let's just go with it. Hope to share more soon.  In the meantime, if you are a "blogger" and you get this whole thing, PLEASE seek me out and teach me some lessons!! Thanks