Attaining Imperfection, A Work in Progress

On May 26, 2013, I set out on a mission.  A mission to let go of perfect.  A year ago, had I been asked the question, "what is a word your friends would use to describe you?", among a few, one word would likely have been PERFECTIONIST.  Of course I wasn't perfect, but I pretended to be.  I worked hard to hide the imperfections, namely broken marriage, single parenthood, financial woes, and a very imperfect house that I had no idea how to fix.

 Along with starting a blog to help me heal and to hopefully assist others in their own healing, I learned some great big life lessons.  As I sit hear contemplating a really creative way to share those lessons, I remind myself, this entry is not about perfection.  So here are the life lessons I've learned in no particular order, no more weight given to one then the other, and some blank spaces for those lessons I haven't learned yet.

And so be it, this is my imperfect list of important lessons:

1. Love with a really BIG heart.  The return is infinite.
2. Allow your emotions to breathe.
3. Let others in.  Let them see you sad, mad, confused, even vulnerable.  You're only human after all.
4. Lean on others for help and in return, always be willing to lend a hand when possible.
5. Expand your family to include those who treat you with respect and do not judge.
6. Be grateful if you have a family who will walk to the end of the world and back for YOU.
7. Read quotes daily and reflect on life.  Use this reflection to center yourself.
8. Allow your floor to be sticky.
9. Do not clean all of your child's fingerprints off the wall.  Leave one for always.
10. Let your child see your "weird" side.
11. When the going gets rough, just LAUGH.
12. Smile at a stranger, it may be the only one they get that day.
13. Take a breath....often.
14. Always have hope.
15. Walk with your head held high.  Be confident.  You are surviving in a difficult, complicated world.
16. Be proud of your accomplishments and share them with others.
17. Find your cheerleaders and BE one for everyone you know.
18. Be honest with everyone, including your child.
19. Know that you can only protect your child so much.  Teach him/ her coping skills.
20. Learn to forgive.
21. Take every experience (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and learn something.
22. Find purpose in something.
23. Leave the house once in awhile with no make up.
24. Keep the things that make you healthy in your life.  Find support to help you rid the unhealthy things.
25. Let your child make the bed by him/ her self and LEAVE it, don't fix it.
26. If you make a mistake, own up to it, learn from it, and move on.  Do not hide it. Do not fester on it.
27. Do not underestimate the power of the song from Frozen, "Let It Go";)
28. Be okay with not knowing.
29. Only make promises you can keep.
30. Remember there are no bad people, only those who make bad choices.
31. Do not own others' mistakes, only help them make it right.
32. Remember bad feelings are only temporary, you will not feel sad or upset forever.  And remember good feelings come and go as well.  Savor the good ones.
33. Let your child witness your mistakes and allow them to learn as well.
34. Accept invitations almost always.  Save a little time for yourself;)
35. Put FUN in your life.
36.  Let your child make a big mess sometimes.
37. Lazy days are okay.
38. Missing a run won't stop you from completing a marathon.
39. Shoot for the stars, but if those stars change shape along the way, embrace them, do not run from them.
40. Remember others have pain too.  Do not be quick to judge.  Empathize instead.
41. Smile.
42. Laugh
43. Be grateful.
44. Allow yourself to BE and and your child to BE as well.
45. Watch your child develop with wonder.  Don't assume you know their character already.  Allow he/ she to become themselves and love and accept that person.
46. Never stop making friends.
47.Allow and support your child's relationship with your ex, their parent.
48.
49.
50.

I do not believe that the life lessons I learn will stop at 50.  Life is a process that I am in the middle of.  I'm happy to report that I am a much more imperfect person than I was a little over a year ago, but it's been quite a road to get where I am now and I don't expect a stop sign anytime soon (I should hope that's the case anyway).  Since opening myself up, allowing myself to be vulnerable, and a bit imperfect, I've learned there are all kinds of love.  You love those who support you, who are fun to be around, who understand  you, and help you.  However, you can also love those you have hurt you.  You can forgive.  You can let go.  You can move on.  Most importantly, you can embrace your imperfect life as an imperfect life is proof of a full life, proof of a human being who has thoughts and feelings.

I will continue on my journey to imperfection at it's finest.  I've written over 35 posts in the past year, some published, some not.  I hope that what I have shared has maybe helped someone else to embrace who they are.  This has been a healing process for me.  I end this blog as a stronger, smarter, more loving woman.  My journey is not over, but for now, my blog, "Letting Go of Perfect" is.  Thank you for taking the time to read my entries.:)

A recent favorite, "Turn your wounds into wisdom." -Oprah Winfrey


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Imperfect Grieving

In a Perfect World, would fate lead us to our one true love?

What better time to practice being imperfect?